If you’re going to learn how to “fertilize your crap,” you need to have an idea of the stages of time you’ll have to go through to “grow your alfalfa.”
Denial
The first stage of change is pre-contemplation. Pre-contemplation is another descriptor for Denial. If we are in this stage, we will usually resist any thought of change.
This may be because the rules in our minds are already so ingrained that we will stand by them no matter how much intellectual, emotional, and physical distress our rules cause us and others. Think of the addict, or depressive, or anxious person who, no matter what the consequences of his/her behavior, refuses to change.
Contemplation
The second stage of change is that of contemplation. Contemplation is when we become aware that a problem exists with our current set of behaviors. We then decide we want to explore other avenues of behavior. Thus, we enter the stage of preparation.
Preparation and Action
The third and fourth stages of change work together. These stages are preparation and action. It takes action to prepare and once preparation is accomplished it takes action to use the new behaviors we have prepared.
Maintenance
The fifth stage of change is that of Maintenance. I call this stage the stage of complete transformation. It is when our work to change manifests into a constant change of behavior in our present over our past.
Relapse
During these stages of change, the sixth stage of change may occur. This stage is that of Relapse. If we are preparing and acting with new ideas of reward, and we don’t get that reward immediately, it is sometimes easier to relapse versus continuing the change.
It does take time and repetition for us to become comfortable with change. This usually doesn’t happen until the positive consequences of the behavior begin to manifest within us. Preparation and action are the most dangerous times for relapse. Be aware.
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